Introducing The Turkey!

Heartbeat = 153. Embryos = one. Everything appears on track, so the blessings on our family continue. Let the double-stroller shopping continue!

Graco Quattro Tour Duo

Jane Powertwin

Phil and Ted's

Anyone have any thoughts? Right now, the Graco is the leader of the pack - it's heavy, but cheaper and I love Graco. Pending a test drive when it's finally released (this month?) it looks good. Looks real good.

Monthly Newsletter, Month Nineteen

Dear Natey,

This is the first month I've had to really push myself to get this newsletter up on time. I have so many wonderful things to say to you, but you and I are also butting heads a lot and it makes me so incredibly sad.

Also, Daddy and I just found out that you're going to be a big brother! Mama's pretty emotional and tired and sick these days, which isn't helping matters. Daddy's taking good care of me, as are Grandma and friends, so hopefully the bad part of pregnancy passes quickly and I'm back to my old enthusiastic self.



You're starting to really come alive. You pick up your stuffed doggies and try to feed them your milk and your snacks. You know that a cow says "moooo" and a kitty-cat says "neooooww" and a doggie says "woo woo" and a lion says "woooahhhhhrrrr". We counted about 20-25 words that you have full command over (not counting exact pronunciation); some new ones are:

Downstairs
Door
Cracker
Snack (nah!)
Apple (Ah-bul)



When you play catch with someone, you have a "position" you like to throw from. If you have to deviate to pick up the ball somewhere else, you often make your way back to your little position before you throw it again. Such a professional!

I think you are finally saying Mama for real now. When you hear me move around in another room, you yell for me - "Ma! Mama!". You've turned into kind of a nag, actually. Maaaaaaaa! Maaaaaaaa! MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!



For a few months now you've been totally, completely, thoroughly sleeping through the night. One of us puts you down around 7:15, and you wake up again around 7. It's been lovely. It's been delicious. It's made me question why we decided to have another baby. But that's another blog entry, right?

Anyway, so you've been sleeping through the night. Until about a week ago, when this whole "talking" thing captured your attention. Now every few nights we get woken up around 4 am with you dictating from your crib: "Bah! Bah! (up! up!) Bah!" After nobody comes to attend to you, you start with "Ma! Ma! Maaaaaaaaaa! Maaaaaaaaaa!" Sometimes you give up after 10 minutes; sometimes you can go on for an hour. A few nights ago you threw in your new word for please "Neeeee! Neeeee!" at the end, making it truly hard to resist coming in to you. But I persisted, and hopefully this phase passes soon. Mama's gotta sleep.



The most delightful thing I've learned about you is how much you love babies. When we encounter one somewhere, you get in front of them, squat down with your hands on your knees, and grin up into their faces. We were at the Building Museum a few days ago when a set of twins were put down on their bellies to play. You sat down on the floor in front of them and put your face about 3 inches away from one of the babies. You just smiled at her. You tried to softly pet her head.

You really are wonderful with other kids. You never ever hit, even with the older kids, even when they take your toys. You never push or shove or take their toys. Never. When another kid won't let you into the playhouse at the museum or park, you just wait until they're done and then you run in to play. When you're playing around with your older cousins, you always let them get to the ball first and then play with it when they give it to you. You never seem frustrated, but you're happy to wait until you get your turn. You are absolutely sweet.

So, the hard stuff. You get frustrated when I tell you "no", when I take something away, when I have to be the bad guy, and the way you respond to this frustration is by hitting me. You lift your hand, walk straight to me, look me in the eye, and slap me on the leg or the arm. I try to keep calm, and tell you "No, we don't hit." When you do it again (not the "when", not the "if you do it again"), I tell you "If you hit Mama again, you're going in time-out." When I first started with time-out, it had no deterrent value. But now that you're totally used to it, warning you of time-out can sometimes (1/3 of the time?) stop you from hitting me that last time. Then I make a supreme effort to put a smile on my face, praise you, and find something for us to play with together.



Since you'll be reading this when you're much older, I feel okay sharing this: your hitting me absolutely breaks my heart. I know not to take it personally, and mostly I don't, but boy is it tough. I think I'm doing the right thing by being tough with you, by expecting a lot from you, by asking you to behave yourself. By teaching you that "no" means "no", that we eat breakfast in our chairs (and not on the floor), that I will always expect great things from you. I know that even if you don't get those things now, they'll pay off in the long run. But boy, is it tough. Argh.



The best thing from this month is realizing how much you absolutely love being outside. When I'm forced to bring you back inside, I feel like Mommy Dearest - you cry so piteously.



We spent last weekend with your Peepa and most of your other Davis family, and you were in heaven. You stacked wood with Daddy and Peepa, and then used a real shovel to dig dirt and plant flowers with Peepa. You raked, and played with your cousins, and ran, and ran, and ran. I stood at a window upstairs and watched you work with your Daddy and it was such a happy feeling to see you so engaged, and hard-working, and to see how much pleasure and satisfaction you took from your work. I can only hope that the love of work, of being useful and helpful, stays with you all your life.



I love you so much.
Mama

We had a lovely day today

That's it, really. We had a lovely day today. He did not slap my leg today. He did not wonk me on the head with a cymbal today. He was in time-out NO TIMES today. There were only a few crying tantrums. We tickled and laughed and played and even snuggled for a few seconds.

Was he sweet like this before, and the terrible twos came and took over like a poltergeist? Is this a new Nate? Maybe I should wait more than 17 hours before I decide that it's a whole new world, huh?

Gratuitous photo.

Bit by bit

More changes, every day. Tonight he fed his pretzel snack to his stuffed dog, and thoughtfully followed it up by offering some milk from his sippy cup (pretzels are thirsty things, you know!). It's a small thing, but it's a milestone - true imaginary play. He's utterly fabulous.

At our pediatrician's suggestion, I've been using time-outs to try to curb the hitting. I'm shocked at how quickly he's figured the whole thing out. Right now I'm just doing 30 seconds, and I count them out verbally (no eye-contact, though). The first 3 or 4 times were a struggle, and I was beginning to think he really was too young for it, but now he's really sitting still. My favorite part is when he starts asking to get up "Bah? Bah? Bah?" which shows me that he understands that he's not in charge of when he gets up - I am. Powerful stuff. Today he only had time-out twice (a few days ago he was in time-out five times before 9 am), and a few times after the warning ("Nate, if you hit me again you will go in time-out.") he just didn't hit me again. Super powerful stuff.

I've also been really consistent about taking things away from him when he's misbehaving with them, and boy is he understanding it. I think he's figuring out that I mean what I say, and that the consequences are coming his way. His behavior is really improving: much less hitting, much less testing, much less blatant disobedience. I'm really proud of both of us.

Gratuitous photo of Nate finger-painting with pudding:

Counting my blessings, again.

Nate had his 18-month appointment today and he's doing great. Moved to 50-75% for both height and weight (up from 50% at his 15-month appointment) and 75-90% for head circumference (up from 75%). She asked all sorts of questions about what he's playing with, how he's playing, what his interests are - all of which is fun because what Mama doesn't want to brag on her kid? To someone who's actually interested!

She ended the appointment by saying what a treat it was to see such a healthy normal kid in her office, and then told me about an a little boy she had to refer for a formal autism diagnosis. She said Nate was hitting all of his neurological marks and that he was almost certainly in the clear for any of those types of problems. I'm sure it's just hormones, but I teared up with thankfulness.

If you're a Davis family member, STOP READING NOW. We'll surprise you in two weeks.

For everyone else, the thankfulness continues: Nate is going to be a big brother! I found out this morning, so it's very early. Lots of stuff can go wrong. But most things seem to go right for us, so I'm hoping the tradition continues.

We are so lucky.

Do you clean your kid's toys?

Seriously - I need you guys to chime in. I've looked at the stats. I KNOW you're reading this.

Do you put the plastic toys in buckets with bleach and water? Do you run the plush toys through the washer/dryer? What else should I be doing? (Not that I'm saying I will do it, but at least I'll know what I should be doing.)

I confess: the only time I've cleaned Nate's toys is when I packed up all of his baby toys. I ran one load through the washer/dryer before I stored them away. If I see blood or poop or something it certainly gets cleaned off before he gets to play with the toy again, but if it looks clean it's fine with me. He's been sick twice ever.

Well?

Monthly Newsletter, Month Eighteen

Dear Nate,

You are a year and a half old now! I counted your age this morning by tallying up the new wrinkles I have. At first I thought you were 13 years old, but it was just the double vision. This is the part of the blog in which I'd insert a photo of you sticking your tongue out at me, but since Daddy's the one who takes the pictures, and you never sass him, no such picture exists. Except in my mind. Front and center.



I am writing this letter with a pretty ugly week behind us which no doubt sets the tone. We were all sick last week, and then you got yourself your first ear infection, and then I ended up with 103 and a lovely hacking cough. I'm not sure if Daddy's sick or not because I don't have the energy to care.

What all this sick has added up to is a very tired Mama and a very demanding Natey. Lots of whining, lots of hitting, lots of tantrums. It certainly doesn't help that Daddy thinks you walk on water and can't bear to deny you anything. Mama had a good long talk with him this weekend, so you can just go ahead and blame me if he gets tough with you now. I have my doubts, but I also have high hopes.



The problem here is that you're very, very smart. You know darn well that Daddy will give you whatever you want. Whenever I discipline you during the day, you cry for Da Da straightaway. You also cry for Dada whenever you see someone on a bicycle. And also when you hear a bicycle outside of the house. Also whenever a male person is in the house. Let's just say you're a Daddy's boy. Thanks a lot, kid.



You're not just smart, you're hard-working and dedicated. There's nothing more in the world you like than a good project. Your favorite types of projects are "fit this thing into that thing" exercises, and you can do them over and over and over. When Daddy takes his tools out to do a home repair, it's the highlight of your week. I love the typical concentration on your face in this photo:





You really love helping out. You've gotten great at projects like "Can you pick that up and put it in the trash for Mama?" You love carrying boxes around, and pushing carts and strollers. We had a fantastic snowfall last week and Daddy put you to work shoveling the walkway. When you fell into a puddle and got wet, Daddy brought you back inside - you lost your mind entirely. We had to put you into a dry jacket and put you back to work outside.



You have "friends" now, though they're mostly neighbors and kids I set you up with on playdates. But you do always have fun and seem to really enjoy the interaction!



Part of our tough week is that you've beyond wanting just milk, or food, or up. Now you want us to go somewhere and get something specific and you just don't have the words to be the powerhouse dictator you want to be. You have recently started tugging on our sleeves, or physically pushing us where you want us, but it's still not eloquent enough for you. Thus, the tantrums when we don't understand that we need to get up and get you that one specific toy right at this instant. Here are some of the new words you do have:

* Down
* Door
* Baby
* Off / up / out (not exactly sure; you use them interchangeably)

I've always been able to be very confidant about you - you've hit all of your milestones, kept progressing, were friendly and social and normal. All except for one thing: you've been entirely disinterested in books and reading. You darn near hated the things. Daddy's been reading to you every night while you completely ignore him and run up and down the hallway. Except that a few weeks ago something clicked and now you're all over them. You can't imagine how good I feel inside when I walk into a room and you're sitting on the floor with a book open in your lap.



Here's how it makes me feel: full-up and content, like you're safe and smart and happy and well taken care of. Like I'm doing okay raising you.

I love you, Natey.
Mama