Jackie has a girlfriend!

The transition into co-op preschool has gone...I honestly don't know how to say how well it has gone. Jack barely likes to be left with his Auntie, let alone total strangers. Last year's brief experiment with co-op was a total disaster, so I had very low expectations for this year. I honestly get fairly speechless when I try to explain my incredulity.



The first day I stayed since it was my duty day. The next day we talked it out over and over, and when it came time for me to leave his little lip quivered and the tears welled, but he was fine just a few minutes after I left. The next day it was a bit of the same, and every day since he's given me a big smacking kiss goodbye and that's it. We talk a lot about how I'll always come get him from playgroup, and when I get there he repeats it over and over "You came to get me at playgroup?!" and it obviously comforts him. (Speech therapy note: playgroup is pronounced "pay-geeoop")

His teacher is very keen on potty training, and it's actually having some effect: he's peed on the potty 4 or 5 times now, twice at home. So no pressure, but we're starting to think about potty training. Fun.

Today was another duty day at co-op, so I got to see him do several fairly adorable things. There's a little girl, Alice, who hung out close with me today and so she and Jack spent a lot of time together. At the end of the day, Jack got right in front of her, bent down a bit so their faces were close, and exclaimed "I like you!" several times. It was delicious. I wish so much my Nanny could see him. She would adore him.

I adore him.

My son loves me

I've posted before about the hard relationship with Nate. I've often been frustrated and snappy with him; I lose my patience too easily. For his part, he's never been cuddly or loving, he's often moody and prickly. It has been tough.

I have always tried to work on our relationship, figuring out what my grumpier times are, trying to meet him where he is, changing things around. The last four months I've worked so extra hard, realizing that he's now at an age where he's going to start remembering things and I'll be damned if he only remembers the bumpy spots between us.

And it worked. It worked. My son loves me. He left last night for a weekend with Daddy, and before he left he said he'd remember me by the bracelets he was wearing because I got them for him. When he realized I wasn't going on the trip, he frowned and said "but I love my Mommy!" He told me he'd miss me. And while he was away he drew me a picture of one of my favorite things: a rainbow.

Last week he woke up before I did and crawled into bed with me. He snuggled up front to front and murmured that he loved me.

We did it. I did it. Things still aren't perfect and because I'm human and he's human and that's life they never will be. But they're good, they're great, they're enough to be grateful for. I am so grateful.

Cuteness

Nate was just picked up to head to school (carpool!!) and Jack was standing at the door watching him go. I said "say goodbye to Nate" and Jack said "goodbye Nate! Thanks for the party!" which is exactly what I told him to say to Deborah when we were leaving her party three days ago. Could he be any cuter?

Kindergarten!

Nate headed off to kindergarten yesterday and showed us again what a dream child he is.



We'd been talking up the fun of kindergarten and gone to an orientation; he was super shy during orientation, but didn't balk at the thought of it. The night before kindergarten was starting he said he didn't want to go, but it was in the context of a horrible tired hysterical tantrum, and he was asleep 7 seconds later. I didn't worry too much.



Monday morning we got up early and gabbed and got ready nice and leisurely. Stewart snapped some pics as we headed out the door, and we drove off. I had talked with him about walking him in, but while we were driving I told him I'd walk him to the door; that I knew he could go inside by himself.



So we parked and walked to the front of the school, milling around with a lot of other parents and kids. It was a treat to watch the little Pre-K kids waiting with their little bags and nap-rolls; they looked so tiny and sweet! Nate hung by my side, quieter than usual but holding up. When the doors opened and kids started in, Nate hesitated but seemed game - he had definitely absorbed that it was an important day. I knelt down with him and told him how incredibly proud I was of him, to have a wonderful day, that he'd be great. He gave me a kiss on the lips; a very rare occurrence. I stood up to say goodbye and heard him say something quietly: ironically he told me he'd said, very sweetly, "let me go."



I let him go. I smiled while he walked away from me. It was all terribly symbolic and touching and I teared up a bit but mostly grinned at my sweet happy son. We smiled and waved and blew kisses all the way down the ramp, and I headed home with my Jack.



I got there early to pick him up, as I always seem to, and waited what seemed like forever for his blonde head to be escorted out. He looked up and saw me waiting, and yelled "It was great!" He said it again when he got to me, and we headed home with Stella. After we'd dropped her off (carpool!), I remembered to ask him about his lunch: I'd packed a few special things in there. He liked the apple slices with hearts and the rice crackers and the name cookies, but what he mentioned was the note I'd taped to the top of his snack: Mommy ♥s Nate. He told me he found my letter, and that when he read it he kissed it. Then when we got home he taped it on the fridge, and added his own note (totally his idea, done completely by himself, except for spelling Mom):



He headed off to Chinese day today without a problem: jumped out of the car, yelled "I love you!" and slammed the door. He's on his way.

Little boy growing

Here are things that Nate does by himself now:

Peel carrots (he loves this!)

"Read" comic books.

Pour cereal, pull stool to the fridge to get the milk, pour milk, make "breakfast" for himself and Jack (please excuse the clothes, he dressed himself)

Clean up the toys in the basement, sometimes surprisingly well. The housekeepers were coming on Wednesday and I was trying to get us off to the zoo; I called down to Nate and asked him to help clean up the basement and he said "okay!" and headed downstairs to work on it. Huh.

Make friends in airports.

Climb into Jack's crib to fetch "pink doll and paci" that are requested 10 times a day.

Pinch samosas closed

Decide to share his silly bandz with friends because they don't have any.

Color the front walkway bricks with sidewalk chalk, making a pattern as he goes along.

Water the plants in the backyard

Really help with Aunt Drebba's charity auction

Horse around with cousins

Know to be careful with feelings: The other night he said he wanted Daddy to put him to bed because Number 2 is better than Number 1 and Daddy was Number 2...well, we were both Number 2 but Daddy was Number 3...

He's pretty fabulous.

Nate's first blog post!

Today we went to the zoo, and on the way home I decided to include some "journal" entries from Nate as part of this blog. It'll help us all remember what we've seen and done, and give a better window into Nate's mind as he grows up.

So from here on, in this entry, it will be only Nate's words and my pictures.

___________________________________

We went to two playgrounds. One was a pizza one and one was the prairie-dog one. And we could pop up through little holes like prairie dogs.



I had a great time seeing the animals. I saw lions, I saw goats, we saw prairie dogs...what else did we see? (Leah: we saw monkeys, we saw snakes, we saw lizards...)

We saw turtles and fishes, those are reptile animals. We saw lions.



I liked the lions because I liked how they look.

So happy together

It's been a long day filled with Jack smearing poop around and laundry and cleaning up after everyone. Stewart left early and came home late, and I escaped to the recliner for a few minutes of reading blogs.

Nate and Stewart are playing with a photo program on the Mac, taking silly distorted pictures of themselves. I hear giggling, and then Nate says "Mom, you've gotta come see this. You've gotta be in the picture." and I put down this laptop, walk over, and giggle with my kid. So grateful that he wants me in the picture.