I've posted before about the hard relationship with Nate. I've often been frustrated and snappy with him; I lose my patience too easily. For his part, he's never been cuddly or loving, he's often moody and prickly. It has been tough.
I have always tried to work on our relationship, figuring out what my grumpier times are, trying to meet him where he is, changing things around. The last four months I've worked so extra hard, realizing that he's now at an age where he's going to start remembering things and I'll be damned if he only remembers the bumpy spots between us.
And it worked. It worked. My son loves me. He left last night for a weekend with Daddy, and before he left he said he'd remember me by the bracelets he was wearing because I got them for him. When he realized I wasn't going on the trip, he frowned and said "but I love my Mommy!" He told me he'd miss me. And while he was away he drew me a picture of one of my favorite things: a rainbow.
Last week he woke up before I did and crawled into bed with me. He snuggled up front to front and murmured that he loved me.
We did it. I did it. Things still aren't perfect and because I'm human and he's human and that's life they never will be. But they're good, they're great, they're enough to be grateful for. I am so grateful.