This morning, at 5 a.m., you smiled at me from your changing table. It was the first smile that wasn't a response to mine (I'm rarely smiling at 5 a.m.!). You lay there, looked up at me, and grinned. It was one of those moments where everything feels right in my world.
You started returning our smiles about 2 weeks ago, and they've become more and more frequent. You start with a regular smile and it turns into a big, open-mouth grin. Everyone who gets one feels so lucky!
In the last week or so, you've gotten very interested in looking at people. Before, you mostly looked at the pictures on the walls or at lights. Now you focus right in on me, or Daddy, or all of the friends who come over to see you.
For about 3 weeks, starting when you were about a month old, you quit sleeping much at night. Two hours, like clockwork, and then awake for a feed. You were good about going right back to sleep after each feed, but still! We figured out that your swaddle blanket was too small, so we upgraded to the bigger size and now you're sleeping about 3 (sometimes 4) hours at a stretch! Makes Mama very happy, and when Mama's happy, Daddy's happy too. Good job, son.
You could use some work on the daytime sleeping, though. You like to be awake for hours, and then you get tired and cranky. One would think that the next step would be to FALL ASLEEP. But that's not your plan. You seem to like being tired and cranky, and insist on being that way for hours. It's tough on those around you, but you're sticking to your plan. I love your determination.
You show real perseverence in the thumb-sucking department, too. You are absolutely determined to get that thumb in there, but you have little control over your intentions. You mostly suck at your fist, turning it this way and that and slurping the whole time. Sometimes, accidentally, your thumb finds it's way into your mouth and you suck frantically. When the thumb disappears, you get right back to work on finding it. I love how hard you work at it, and how you never give up or get frustrated.
At your one-month checkup, you were 90th percentile for weight and 95th for height. I'm so curious what your two-month checkup will bring (we'll know in a week). Will you level off, or keep climbing? Either way is fine with me, but I have to admit that I'd love you to take after your Daddy in this department.
But right now, everyone thinks that you look like your Grandpa (my father). I saw it first in the hospital, and about 10 people have thought so since. Only one person has thought you look like your Daddy, though you have his feet exactly.
You absolutely love this crazy mobile we have over your crib. After you're fed and changed in the morning, I put you in the crib and turn on the mobile. You grin at it the moment it starts up. I use that time to clean up, or shower, or other wild and crazy things like those. I don't use it often, but it's nice to have a place to put you where you feel happy and I don't have to be the one doing the work!
You have impeccable timing. Just when I need to go somewhere, you get sleepy and fall asleep for the whole drive. When we visit with friends and family, you usually get into one of your golden moods with smiles and cuteness abouding. I don't know how you do it!
You can be counted on to be happy and quiet in several situations: the stroller, the carseat, and the bathtub. During those cranky hours, it's nice to know that we can pull out a solution and count on it working. We give you a bath every night, and you sit there calmly for at least 20 minutes. When you're really calm, we can tell - you pee a fountain all over the wall or all over us.
We can also count on this: you are NOT going to go lightly into the world of bottle-drinking. While I admire, and enjoy, your determiantion when it suits my needs, I would trade it in an instant for a little compliance in this department. So far, we have 3 "successful" bottle-feeding occasions, and each time you drank an ounce or two. Weak, weak, weak. Daddy is the only one to get you to drink, but even he can't get you to take more than this. Eventually, I'm just going to have to leave you here and let you "sink or swim." I think when you get hungry enough you'll eat. If you're anything like me, you'll give in!
I didn't know what life was going to be like with a son. I had an image of what it would be like with a daughter, and how we'd feel towards each other, based on being a daughter and knowing about the relationship with my Mom. I'm so curious what we'll be like together - will we be buddies? Will you let me hug you? Will you want to tell me about your life?
But the truth is that I've never been so present and content with anything before. I'm usually looking towards tomorrow, and next week, and next year. And I do look forward to that with you; taking you to the park, throwing a ball around, and even taking you to college. But I'm happy here with you today, doing the little things that make up our life together.
Any which way, it's going to be a great life. We're very lucky to be living it.
Love,
Mama
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