Thursday, December 4, 2008

Forward thinking

As hard as I fight to "stay in the moment" with my kids, I can't help but wonder about my boys as adults. In my darker moments I fight the dread that something will happen to them and that I'll never get a chance to see what they look like, who they are, what they love, how they treat each other.

But when I let my mind get past that I have little flashes of them, and I just can't wait to see what I'm right about and what I'm (almost certainly) wrong about.


He's going to be the straight-and-narrow one, the one who obeys the rules and wants everyone else to. He's going to be a little bit of a worrier, a little self-conscious. He'll be kind, but I don't think he'll be the hero who protects the other kids from the bully.

At circle time at preschool, he never needs to be admonished to keep his bottom on the carpet. He never needs to be told to pay attention to the teacher, or to participate like he's supposed to. Miss Bonnie is usually telling the class "The only voice I hear out there is Nate's! I need everyone to participate!" He sits straight up and doesn't get drawn into chatting even if Nikola leans into him and starts gabbing away. If I discipline another child to stop throwing a toy, or to sit still, he chimes right in after me. I gently tell him that it's a Mommy job to tell the other kids what to do, but I'm not sure he gets it. He's got a little of the goody two-shoes in him.

I haven't been able to picture what he's going to look like, but there's this new guy on Top Chef and I can kinda see it. He's got the wispy-ish hair, and he's thin but not gaunt. The nose seems the same. He's cute. Heck, what do I know, but here's his pictures:


Jack's still a tot, and there's a ton of personality still to come, but this is a fun exercise so I'll bite. So far, he's a big squishy boy with curly hair whose greatest pleasures are cuddling and dancing. He's incredibly social, smiling at everyone and trying to touch their faces. He's sweet and happy pretty much all the time.

I have this image of him as a fun-loving frat boy, nice to everyone and happy to have fun. Heart of gold. The picture that keeps coming to mind of him as an adult?

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